Sir, elizabeth and i

To my Sir

i am a submissive (christine) in a six year relationship with a Dominant (whom i call Sir in this text). This story is from a time a few years ago that was an experience with another submissive (elizabeth or beth). While most of what i will relate is true, the names and places have been fictionalized. Also, a bit of unnecessary details have been omitted. Most of this account is written in the first person to Sir.

i was being honest when i told You earlier that this was absolutely one of the best weekends we have ever spent together… but then i sorta forgot the first one and then the one in Boston, which was almost like the first one all over again, just simply an erotic high. There have been other moments in our developing relationship that stand out, the extraordinary and intense orgasm i was allowed and given in Chicago the very first time You coaxed me into trusting You enough to become Your little girl, even with all the fears i held inside with that particularly emotional piece of me… just rubbing on Your leg i had an orgasm that i cannot begin to put into words, but it is forever within my very soul… the first time You ever said You were in love with me… the first time You hog-tied me on the bed and sat there just looking at me, such a combination of fear and wildly abandoned excitement… the time You spent so much time putting clips on my pussy, till my legs were shaking with the will to endure, to offer my entire being, body and soul to You for whatever activities You wished to explore… not to even mention the first time i heard the crack of a single tail and put the sound together with the potential uses… whew, yes there have been some pretty good moments. But for me to hold the entire weekend in the same category as those individual moments, that is truly special.


It began for me when i first saw You lying there on the bed… imagine coming home to find You waiting here for me! We began in something of a more sexual nature and what would ordinarily be a very simple act of allowing me to climb atop and feel Your cock slide into my body, to slide and press myself against You, the pressure on my sensitive heightened clit just started my body shaking in a most delightful way… then having You assist me into an upright position and Your cock reached the depths of me, pushing up inside me as far as possible, that sent me right back up to that delightful, quivering, coming state of being. i will admit to a certain feeling of fearfulness on my part when You were trying to coax me upward… simply being in that position has been next to impossible for me for many months now due, quite obviously, to my weight gain. i have been unable to maintain any sense of balance, unable to lower both of my knees to the bed while astride You, thus i was trying to balance on one knee and still raise and lower myself onto You. A mostly unsuccessful balancing act that made me fear hurting You when i could not maintain it. But, wow, here it was… back again and i could enjoy the moment, the penetration, the pleasure… maybe not so much the breast slaps, but those are for You, not me anyway! At least that is how i view them because the feelings, the sensitivity in my breasts are limited to the nipples and the slaps against the sides do not stimulate that response. Mostly, i guess, simply submitting to the breast slapping is more purely a submissive thing because it is only for You that i could even tolerate it and it still brushes the edge of my tolerance… odd piece of edge play, huh? But, as i learned this weekend, edge play develops in the mind, not on the body. It is the response to something which makes it edge play, for some people react differently to very different stimuli.

Actually that was the sex part of the time we were here, then it was packing and leaving and sitting in traffic for soooooooooooooo long and missing what i had thought was a seminar of choice for the weekend… vaginal fisting. Oddly enough, that appealed to me because it was such a draw for You and i find that i am drawn like a moth to flame into things which fascinate and excite You… drawn to the fire of Your passion, to feed upon it, i lust for experiencing that as much as i might in finding my own hot buttons. When You get that gleam in Your eyes, that light of pure passionate desire, it consumes me, envelopes me within its’ brightness, makes me want and how i love to want, to feel like it might be possible, to dare to dream. You have opened my eyes to that ability and, though i sometimes still hide from it within the realm of my everyday life, when i am with You, i am free to follow and become the experience as a part of You, wrapped in that security that i will not fall, You will always be there, holding me safely. Yes, a curious metaphor and if You literally had to hold me up, in reality, it is a stretch, but within me, it is Your strength that i depend upon.


At the masquerade ball, while we were there, i found myself wandering around, enjoying the people, the variety, the known and the newly discovered kinky people, who are amongst the most tolerant of all i could ever imagine. And i recall, at one point while the judging was going on, i looked across the room and saw You sitting there far from me in space, yet still inside me. It was such a perfect transition for me, from fearful to confident… i did not need to cling to You as i once had, during the first of the BDSM conferences we had attended. We had grown closer and thus the physical was no longer so vital to my vision… but really, when i am touching You, that is quite simply the very best that life could ever hope to offer in my opinion! But it was then, as i sat there with elizabeth at my side. beth who was not feeling quite the same level of confidence as i had finally discovered, who needed someone to just be beside her… oh how well i know and understand that exact feeling! Thus i was happy to just be there, watching the proceedings, with beth at my side, a fun playmate to share those giggly reactions with, an understanding soul to whom sometimes it is enough to just feel because you share the same feelings and to just wave at You across the crowded room and see You smile that cute little grin back as You return the greeting. i still, at that moment, never would have foreseen the night to come after the party! Yet the party ended, sadly there is not enough time set aside for play in the area that night… so we returned to our room and beth, wandering as if she felt almost lost at being alone after experiencing the warm sharing of simple, accepting of girlish fun… like a puppy dog (and You know i can never just walk past a puppy dog!!!) had that look.

You invited her to come to our room and, if she had a puppy dog tail, it would have wagged at the sound! At first i believed, and i suspect that both You and beth also believed that it was simply an opportunity for You to show her Your toys and for her to experience the excitement of seeing the possibilities. A preparation, if You will, for the next evening’s festivities. i know, for me, the build up to experience a D/s scene or even a more vanilla scene with You, is one of the most vital sparks in our relationship. To take time prior to the event to consider the possibilities is sooooo sweet, makes me soooooooo turned on, ready, wanting, lusting for whatever is to come. That is what i think beth was considering as well. We had shared a few pieces of conversation about BDSM thoughts, scenes, fantasies, as well as some of a more vanilla nature… thus we both knew that the other depended almost entirely on a vibrator and masturbation for release of any sort of sexual tension. It works, but it does lack the intensity of being subjected to something like that at the hands of another person. That is why i said to You that i do believe that beth had experienced the most intense orgasm of her life. There is nothing like an orgasm that is purely coaxed, almost against your own will, from your own body by another person. And i know exactly what happens within my own body when You speak softly, directly to me and simply say, ‘Come for Me, baby.’ And when You also add ‘come for your Daddy’ well that just ……. Hmmmmmm there is simply not a word to describe that response!!!! And i do know that beth and i both share that particular side. Then, there is also the side that just wants to be a fuck-pig, purely driven by sexual greed. i will admit that i actually, physically cringed when i heard You go in that direction with beth… because we had never discussed that side, she and i and it raised my protective instincts, heightened my awareness of the situation, so that i was watching her intently to gauge the impact such a statement might have upon her. i know, from personal experience… and You have seen that response from me, the drawing away because You touched an area that opens a fear within me. We have worked through that together, yet i had no idea how beth might respond. It did not seem to affect her as i had, at first, with me… whew! But just wanted You to know that i was constantly changing modes and responses all weekend long, from sex starved, to giggly, to friendly, to wary, to concerned, to pure lust, to one of the most wonderful levels of sub space i have ever found, (akin to that time i was strung up from Kenny’s ceiling… i felt so strong, like i had absorbed all the power in the room and could handle anything!!!). All those various parts of me were part of the weekend, needed, useful and wonderfully ready for the challenges and the delights!
And so, we went to the room and You got to show off Your toys… i know beth and i had discussed my affinity for the canes, for their remarkable ability to bring my butt up to such a level of warmup, that i can tolerate so much more than i would have ever believed possible before. i know it is also a very different type of play, for me it feels ever so much more intimate, more deliberate, more precise, less predictable and therefore more intense and faster build up… though i would love it to go on and on and on… *giggles*.
So then You asked me to lean over the bed to demonstrate the caning and it was the first touch of that kind for the weekend and i was soooooo ready for that and it was wonderful. beth hungered for that feeling, hungered for that buildup that would allow her masturbation to be so much more satisfying. i still don’t think she ever intended to ever take off her clothes. As the night wore on, i could see her respond in more and more submissive a manner… i knew just want was happening… the same thing had happened to me just a few short years ago when i first heard You speak my name at the airport on our first meeting. It was a place i had ever dreamed about going and so the trip was short and oh so sweet, i just immediately danced and twirled into that submissive side with a most relieved feeling of being set free… free from restraints that i had built around me, free to just give myself over to You, to become SirW’s sun. Oh how i craved that and still do. So, when You spoke to beth with that voice, and told her what to do instead of offering to ‘do her’ but rather asked for her to do it ‘for You’… yep, that was enough. She responded in the exact same manner, like a huge, heavy weight had been lifted and she slipped into pure responsive trust and service, the joy of submission comes home. And still, i thought she would not wish things to go where they did, as much as she hungered for it, wanted it… and equal part of her did not want it… i think she was afraid, mostly of my response, of how i would react to her. As You progressed through a series of BDSM activities, You lit her passion when You continued to coax her… every time You called her baby, she rose more and more into that joyful place. The changes i noted in her were actually physical. She held herself less and allowed herself to be uncovered, not just her clothing, but her inner desires, her lust was revealed. i was surprised to note when she could not stop You from rubbing her pussy, her lust far outweighed her basic need at that point and she was powerless, but filled with strength. She needed to be controlled and You gave her that. At a couple of points, still changing roles, i was sure she wanted to speak, wanted to ask You to stop, to not go where You were leading her, past the point of stopping and on into the bliss of orgasm… she would mumble na, na, na… but her inner wants took over and she was carried past that ‘good girl’ image into the sexual slut in dire need, survival took over, as simple as that… and it was at that point, her clothes were able to be removed. And then, the barrier was down… i sensed her concerns, ever wanting to know that i was okay with it all, as well… and when You brought me into the play in a more active role by telling me to suck on her nipple. As i look back, You knew exactly what You were doing, knew i had already crossed that barrier on two previous occasions and this was a safe bet to require of me without having to focus too much on me and be unable to hold the control over beth, as she needed almost all of what You had to offer at that point… this being a whole new world for her! And i wanted to play, wanted to help her feel what i knew she could, to let herself go with it, embrace it, submit as far as she wished. So i was eager to follow Your commands and give beth as much permission to allow it all to happen without having to stop and talk it out in words. There are so many kinds of negotiations and some of them never happen until you are involved. That was what my first lick on her nipple was, a signal that i accepted and encouraged what she was feeling.
When beth left that first night, i mostly wondered how she would feel the next morning. i was still sure that even she did not know… Thus, the next day, at the class on edge play, i arrived late and sat near the door. It was a truly fascinating program and i loved it, one of the best, maybe it was the best, that i had ever attended in the way the Mistress described the definition of edge play and where it could lead. Within the content of the talk, i knew that many of the things which we do which excite me the most, were a form of edge play, a journey into the unknown, forbidden, taboo and scary… while it all remains stimulating and sexually charged. At the end of the program i was headed back to speak with a friend and spied beth sitting in the back row. i was truly ecstatic to see her there, to see that she had come to terms with the events of the previous night and was willing and able to return to the conference. And i shared that feeling with her in the greeting, to ensure that she knew, i was most certainly okay, very okay with what had occurred. Her response was a sense of relief, i could feel it drain from her as we hugged in greeting.
As the day progressed, i could see that glimmer of hopeful wonder rise higher and higher within You. It was so neat to watch You, to see You want, need, all those things that i have so often felt… i could now enjoy watching them in You. i could not take time to enjoy those same things as much between You and i, though i am well aware that they were there, just in the things You sometimes said and the things You would do. But my focus was on ensuring that i could satisfy Your needs, not in the effect it had to see them develop.